


Reconciliation

by turingtestflunker



Series: Checks and Balances [3]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Boss/Employee Relationship, Crossdressing Kink, Explicit Consent, Face Slapping, Hair Kink, Hair-pulling, Impact Play, Kink Negotiation, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Submission, Oral Sex, Polyamory Negotiations, Racism, Relationship Negotiation, Sexism, Silence Kink, Subspace, Threesome - F/M/M, Top Drop, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Bondage, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:08:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turingtestflunker/pseuds/turingtestflunker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>noun  rec·on·cil·i·a·tion  \ˌre-kən-ˌsi-lē-ˈā-shən\<br/>1. The act of causing two people or groups to become friendly again after an argument or disagreement.<br/>2 The process of finding a way to make two different ideas, facts, etc., exist or be true at the same time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Subcommittee Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> Matt has some overdue conversations with his wife and his... Josh.

“So you aren’t mad?” Matt asks.

“Of course, I’m mad!” Helen says, “You had sex with someone else without asking me first, and then didn’t tell me about it for a _month_. Believe me, I’m mad!”

“But” she continues, “I’m not so mad that I’m going to go to the press, or divorce you, or make you break it off out of spite, or whatever else you’re afraid of”

 _Oh, thank god,_ Matt thinks, and says, “Okay.”

There is a pause.

“Is this something you want us to do together?” Helen asks, and Matt hadn’t even dared to _hope_ for that.

“Only if-” he starts, but then stops himself “Yes, yes it is” he admits.

“Okay” Helen says.

What could Matt possibly have done, in this or any other life, to deserve her?

“What happens next?” he asks.

“Now” Helen says, “You tell me everything”

And he does. At first, Matt tries to give her just the broad strokes, but Helen won’t let him. She keeps interrupting with probing questions every time he tries to gloss over something. It’s hard to tell it all at once like this, in the kind of detail she’s demanding.

It’s hard to say, “He looked up at me and asked me to hit him... and I did” and “I held him down and told him that no one could hear him and that he couldn’t get away from me. Then I fucked him” without feeling like a monster all over again. Like he had after the first time in New Hampshire, lying awake all night, half expecting to hear police sirens and fully expecting Josh to be gone in the morning.

Helen listens to it all without comment, aside from the occasional request for more information. When he’s finished, Matt feels painfully vulnerable.

“I need to think about this” Helen says, “I’ll call you again tomorrow”

“I love you” Matt says, trying not to sound as desperate as he feels

“I love you, too” she says, firmly and without hesitation.

 

***

The next morning, Josh pulls Matt aside during a five minute hole in the schedule.

“So, um” he says, with his hands clasped tight to keep him from fidgeting, “Mrs. Santos will be joining us in couple of days.”

Matt raises his eyebrows, “And?”

“Well, I mean, I just wanted to let you know that I understand if you want to…” Josh blushes slightly, “The last thing I want to do is get you in trouble with your wife.”

“Helen and I don’t keep secrets” Matt says with a serene certainty perhaps not entirely appropriate for a man who came clean to his wife less than twelve hours ago, “You don’t have anything to worry about”  

Josh cocks his head quizzically for a moment before he gets it, “oh, OH. You mean?”

“Yeah” Matt nods.

Josh frowns. His eyes flick back and forth as if reading. Probably going over all the ways this mess could explode in their faces, imagining the headlines.

“Have there been others?” Josh asks.

“No, of course not!” Matt says heatedly before realizing that he’s being ridiculous, it’s a perfectly reasonable question.

Josh seems to think about it for a moment, before he says “Okay, that’ll work” and walks away as if the matter was settled.

Just like that. Just another variable that Josh will handle for him. Matt is the luckiest man in the world.

 

***

Helen keeps her word. She calls him that night. They talk about other stuff; the children, the neighbors, for long enough that Matt starts to wonder if she’s decided to pretend the whole thing never happened. He wouldn’t blame her if she did.

But then she says, “About the thing we talked about last night…”

“Yeah?” he says.

“I’m with you, but I have some questions” Helen says.

“Like what?” Matt asks

“Just the obvious things” she says, “For example, what’s Josh’s safeword?”

Matt is hit with the sudden certainty that he has fucked up in a deep and profound way, “What?” he asks.

"Honey, please tell me you haven't been doing the things you've told me about without a safeword" Helen says, sounding more than a little alarmed.

"Uh…” he says, “That depends. What's a safeword?"

Matt realizes that that’s probably _not_ what she wants to hear.

"Oh God” Helen lets out a long, frustrated groan, “Um, it's a word he could say while you're... you know, and uh… you'd stop"

At the risk of digging himself deeper into whatever trouble he’s managed to get himself into, Matt asks, "Wouldn't ‘stop’ or ‘no’ work?"

There’s a long pause.

Finally, in a deliberately neutral tone, Helen asks "Honey, when was the last time Josh said no to you?"

 _What kind of question is that?_ Matt thinks, "Uh... New Hampshire, some time in early January. Why?"

Helen just waits.

Then it hits him, “Yeah, oh God, I, uh, I see your point. I’ll talk to him about it, tonight”

"That would probably be a good idea" Helen says sharply, and then hangs up.

Matt flinches, but he knows he deserves it.

 

***

Josh has been slipping his room key into Matt’s briefcase at every stop for a couple of weeks now, but it still feels wrong not to knock, so he does.

Josh opens the door right away and lets him in. He’s still in his work clothes, so he must not have been asleep.

“How’d you know it was me?” Matt asks.

Josh laughs, “There’s not many people who’d be trying to get into my room in the middle of the night.”

“Fair enough” Matt says.

“So… Matt?” Josh asks.

Matt nods.

“In that case…” Josh smiles and moves in towards him, “Is there anything I can do for you, Matt?”

 _Oh god yes,_ Matt thinks, but that’s not what he came for.

“I talked to Helen” Matt admits

Josh’s face falls, “Okay”

“No, no, it’s not like that” Matt says quickly, “She’s still okay with it… but there’s something she thought I should talk to you about”

Josh is still clearly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 _Might as well come out with it,_ Matt thinks “I want you to pick a safeword”

“A what?” Josh asks.

How is he supposed to explain a thing he just learned about five minutes ago? He does his best, “It’s a thing you can say, while we’re going at it, and I’ll stop”

“What about ‘stop’?” Josh asks, and Matt has to stop himself from laughing.

“No” he says.

“Why not?” Josh asks.

“It’s gotta be something you wouldn’t usually say” Matt says.

Josh shakes his head, “I don’t usually say _anything_ when we’re” he makes air quotes, “...‘going at it’. _Especially_ not ‘stop’”

Matt rolls his eyes, “Just pick something. Anything. Use your imagination”

“It can be anything?” Josh asks.

“Yeah, whatever you want” Matt says.

After a long moment, Josh says “Ohio.”

Matt has to admit, he wasn’t expecting that, “What?”

“Ohio” Josh says again.

He’s gotta know, “Why Ohio?”

“I thought it wasn’t supposed to matter” Josh says, petulantly.

“It doesn’t. I’m just curious” Matt says.

Josh looks down, “I, uh, sometimes I can’t get work out of my head. Like, I’ll try to go to sleep and I’ll see maps. By precinct, by county, media availability, polling data. Usually swing states... like Ohio. Anyway, it’s not something I’d be talking about and…” Josh squeezes his eyes shut and blushes all the way to his ears, “...and it’s the opposite of the way I feel with you”

Matt doesn’t know what to say to that. After a moment, Josh opens his eyes and looks up at him. Matt swallows the lump in his throat.

“That’ll work” he says.


	2. Per Diem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh gives Santos bricks o' briefing because he knows Matt can handle it. Matt is getting better at consent. Helen learns what the boys have been up to without her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This nerd: tells readers that updates might be slower now that school has started again. Also this nerd: posts a new chapter the next day. I blame the Iowa caucuses.

Matt Santos hates the campaign plane. He didn’t like flying to start with, but this is a special kind of awful. The campaign is claustrophobic enough  _ without  _ shoving it into a metal tube hurtling through the sky. He hates the way it smells: unwashed polyester and manic desperation. He hates the ever growing gaggle of journalists in the back. And he especially hates his ‘cabin’. It’s not a cabin. It’s two seats in a broom closet at the front of the plane. It’s cramped, stuffy and an echo chamber for the roar of the engine.

It’s also pretty much the only place he’s both alone and awake, these days, and it’s not like he can sit anywhere else. He’s tried it, it inevitably results in waves of chaos through the whole plane as people trip over themselves to stay out of his way. At which point Josh generally shows up muttering about a ‘disturbance in the force’ and tries to put him back. 

Helen is somewhere towards the back of the plane, being briefed by her media prep team and no doubt struggling to come to terms with the fact that she  _ has  _ a media prep team. Matt certainly knows the feeling. 

Despite all the reassurances beforehand, Matt had expected fireworks when Helen joined the campaign. So far, it hasn’t worked out that way. Josh and Helen have been perfectly cordial. Not in an awkward way. They’re... being careful with each other, as if they’re afraid of breaking something. Matt can understand that.

He hears Josh knocking, loud and impatient, as if the door has wronged him personally. Matt doesn’t bother to answer. Josh’s knocks are more warnings than requests. As expected, Josh barges in. The cabin door slides closed behind him. He looks harried and haggard as usual and he’s carrying a binder twice the size of his head. Matt has come to dread the sight of those things. 

“Congressman, this is the first draft of your prep package for the debate” Josh drops it unceremoniously in Matt’s lap. Matt isn’t sure if he meant to be rude, or just couldn’t hold the damn thing up anymore. 

Matt opens the binder and flips through the pages: they’re wafer thin and packed with miniscule text.

“Are you sure this is everything?” Matt asks sarcastically, “I’d hate to think you’d left something out”

Josh rolls his eyes, “Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I wrote up some lines you might be able to use to dodge the ethanol question long enough to say some stuff before they boo you off the stage. No guarantees, though”

Matt glares at him, but Josh pushes his luck anyway.

“It’d be really helpful if you could just…” he says.

“No” Matt snaps.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Okay, I’ll figure something out” Josh closes his eyes and rubs his temples. 

Matt softens, “Is there anything you absolutely need to be doing right now?”

Josh fidgets, “Yeah! Well, no, but…”

Matt reaches out and catches Josh's wrist, "Then stay"

Josh looks uncomfortable, "Congressman, that's a really bad idea"

Matt pulls him close and whispers, "You know, I'm not actually required by law to rough you up and have my way with you every time we spend time together"

Josh turns scarlet.

Matt continues "So here's what's going to happen. You're going to sit down right there" he points at the floor in front of him, “And you’re going to  _ stay  _ until I tell you to get up. Clear?”

Josh is still blushing, “Yes.”

Josh sits awkwardly at Matt’s feet while Matt starts to read. He fidgets a little at first, but settles after a few sharp warning tugs to his hair. After a while, Josh lays his head on Matt’s knee. His breathing becomes slow and regular. Matt wonders if he’s asleep, or just in whatever happy place he goes to when they do stuff like this. He strokes Josh’s head fondly.

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that; fifteen minutes, half an hour, before they hear someone at the cabin door. Josh jolts upright immediately. Matt pulls back his hand. He considers their position. It’s not totally damning, but it could be really hard to explain if… It’s just Helen. Somehow Matt isn’t any less nervous.

Helen looks at the two of them appraisingly, and then breaks into a wide, warm smile, “Oh honey, he’s  _ adorable _ .”

Josh blushes furiously. Helen sits down in the seat beside him. Matt knows this isn’t right, he didn’t ask Josh about this beforehand, but he really doesn’t want to send either of them away.

Matt leans down to whisper in Josh’s ear, “Is this okay?”

Josh nods jerkily and then squeezes his eyes shut and presses his forehead into the side of Matt’s knee, breathing hard. Matt settles a hand on Josh’s head and leaves it there.

“That’s right” he says, softly, “Good boy”

Josh actually  _ sobs _ at that. Matt can feel his tears soaking through his pant leg.

“Hey, it’s all right. You’re okay. I’ve got you. Shh” he whispers, rubbing soothing circles into the back of Josh’s head until he settles down again.

When Matt looks up, he sees that Helen is watching them, rapt. She’s looking at Matt with something close to awe.

She reaches for Josh, “Can I?”

Matt instinctively shakes his head, the words  _ when was the last time Josh said no to you?  _ ringing in his ears. They’ll have to talk about this when Josh’s brain comes back on line.

“Maybe next time” he says.

Helen nods in understanding and smiles at him, “Next time”

She leans over to kiss him, long and sweet and then lays her head on his shoulder. Matt runs a hand through Josh’s hair. His heart feels full enough to burst. He decides that he doesn’t hate the plane anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed, so forgive any errors I missed. Hope you liked it. Next chapter is Helen/Josh.


	3. Advice and Consent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen hates the campaign trail, except when she doesn't.

Being the wife of a presidential candidate is a bit like being the ghost in a haunted house. People mention you, even talk to you from time to time, but no one sees you and they certainly don’t listen. Helen has a whole team just to dress her. Her campaign wardrobe is growing at an alarming rate: dresses and pantsuits, silk stockings and fancy heels. All of it chosen to coordinate with Matt’s suits. None if it anything like what she would wear for herself. 

Josh had a pollster, a razor sharp woman named Joey Lucas, take hundreds of pictures of her. In different kinds of clothes: in pants, in skirts, in dresses, with and without a jacket. With her hair up and down and a half dozen ways in between. A stylist applied and removed so many coats of makeup that Helen’s face went numb. It felt raw for days afterwards. 

Later that week, Josh bounds up to her like an overexcited puppy, with a stack of papers: the results. He tells her that they’ve decided how she should dress. He tells her that she’s a ‘huge asset’. He tells her than middle class white voters respond 5% more favorably to pictures of Matt when she’s beside him. Helen doesn’t have to ask why. It makes her sick to her stomach. When he’s done talking, Josh looks at her as if he can’t understand why she isn’t happy. 

She is surrounded day and night by hair stylists, makeup artists, assistants, fixers, even a fucking elocution coach. They herd her through what she’s coming to think of as her costume changes, help her nail the screen perfect delivery of the occasional line or two, and carefully choreograph her movements so that she’s always ‘in frame’ with Matt for the cameras. 

Helen tried to talk to them at first. She can’t stand the thought of being their passive doll, but she also can’t bring herself to be interested in what shade of lip gloss plays best in the greater Des Moines area media market. Anyway, the faces keep changing. She wonders why until she catches Josh screaming at one of her assistants. The woman is gone the next day.

Helen misses Peter and Miranda. She misses her friends. She misses being able to leave the house in sweatpants. There are consolations, though. Helen’s always loved hotels, though she knows she’ll be sick to death of them before this thing is over. There’s time to read, and she’s never watched more news in her life. The people watching is good, too. She’s engulfed in a maelstrom of dedicated, brilliant people. Most of them clearly think of her as a prop, but occasionally someone will have a moment to talk. Helen has taken to snatching old policy briefs on their way to the shredder. 

Watching Josh is… interesting. It’s really hard not to hate him sometimes. She sees the way he treats his staff, hears the caustic and dismissive way he talks about… well, nearly everyone. He’s always carrying something: binders, stacks of paper, unreasonably sized cups of coffee. He can’t be bothered to remember his staff’s names, but he’ll berate them with references to their resumes and detailed tirades about tasks they carried out weeks ago. He’s always around, no matter what the hour and the only times she’s seen him sit down were on the plane and then again, a few days later, when Matt grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and forced him to sit down for breakfast.

Matt is still fucking Josh a couple of times a week. He’ll come back to the room he shares with Helen, shower, slide into bed beside her and tell her about it. Tell her how he pushed Josh to his knees in a service corridor and made him beg to suck Matt’s cock. Tell her how he bent Josh over a conference table and fucked him until he cried. His voice shakes as he tells her. Helen knows he can barely stand to admit it, but he does, because she told him to. When he’s done, she’ll cradle his head against her breast and tell Matt that it’s okay, that Josh wanted it, that he’s not a monster. As she reassures her husband, she’ll think to herself,  _ I want that _ .

Getting Josh alone isn’t an easy task. The staff flee from him in droves, but he tracks them down. He’s always talking to  _ someone _ . Helen gets lucky one morning, finds Josh staring blearily at a cup of coffee, by himself in one of the conference rooms where she goes to look for discarded briefing papers. 

Josh doesn’t notice her approaching from behind until she puts a hand on the back of his chair and says, “Hi”

He jumps, “Mrs. Santos”

“Matt tells me that you and he have an understanding about when it is and is not appropriate for you to call him Congressman” Helen swivels Josh’s chair around to face her, “For the moment, I’d like you to call me Helen”

Josh gulps, visably.

“Ok… Helen” he says.

“Matt talked to me about what happened on the plane” she says, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable”

“No!” Josh says, “I, uh, when you were going to…” 

“Pet you?” Helen asks innocently.

Josh blushes and nods, “Yeah. I, um, I wanted you to.”

Something hot and dark blooms in Helen’s chest. She reaches for Josh’s head.

“May I?” she asks, hovering less than an inch away. 

Josh flushes and nods.

She runs a thumb along Josh’s cheekbone and then tangles her hand in his hair. Josh flinches as if she’s hurting him and closes his eyes.

Helen slaps him. She knows the instant she’s done it that it’s wrong, that she didn’t ask about that, that he didn’t say yes. She’s alarmed by how difficult it is to care.

“Look at me” she says, low, and more dangerous than she thought she could sound.

Josh goes limp. His head makes a small thud as it hits the back of the chair. He opens his eyes slowly, his pupils are blown. It’s as if he’s coming apart in her hands. 

“There it is” Helen says softly, “This is why you do this, isn’t it?”

Josh tries to turn away, but she grasps his chin and forces him to hold eye contact. She wants him to admit it. She wants him to tell her that he needs it, that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do, that he’s  _ desperate _ . 

Helen glances at the clock. It’s 7:20, there’s a staff meeting soon. Josh will be expected. There isn’t time. 

Helen lets go of Josh’s chin and gently strokes his head a few times.

“You’ve got to go back to work” she says, “Stay here until you’ve put yourself back together.”

She leans close to whisper in his ear, “We’ll pick this up later.”

Josh tries and fails to hold back a moan. Helen plays the sound over and over in her head on her way out. 

***

That night, when Matt finally staggers into their hotel room, Helen grabs him by his lapels, drags him across the room and throws him down on to the bed. He's so much bigger than her, so much stronger, but he  _ lets  _ her manhandle him like this. Oh god, she loves him.

She kisses him, deep and hard and just a little bit sharp, as she works open his pants. He's already hard for her. Helen pushes her panties aside and slides down onto him.

The stretch and fullness makes her gasp. It's been  _ weeks _ and she's missed this so much.

Matt reaches up and pulls the pins from her hair. Helen shakes her head slightly, the pins fall to the floor and her hair tumbles down around her shoulders. Matt moans and thrusts into her reflexively. Helen smiles, she knows how much he likes that.

She leans down so her hair trails over his face and chest and begins working her hips. Matt reaches down between them to rub her clit.

"So good" she whispers

Matt moans and buries his face in the crook of her neck. Helen tilts her head back and gasps as they rock each other to completion.

After they're finished, Helen has to laugh at how ridiculous they look: Matt in his perfect, screen tested suit with his cock hanging out and her in a sleek matching sheath dress, with her panties around her ankles.

"We're a mess" she says.

"You think?" Matt asks sardonically, which just makes her laugh even more.

They tug each other's clothes off and leave them in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Don't tell Josh we did that" Matt points at their clothes, "He's already highlighting the dry cleaning bills in all the monthly budgets"

"Isn't at least some of that his fault?" Helen asks wryly.

Matt laughs, "I'll tell him that next time he brings it up when we're alone"

They turn off the lights and sprawl side by side on the ridiculously over sized hotel bed. One of the better consolations of life on the campaign trail.

"I talked to Josh this morning" Helen says.

"So  _ that’s _ what all that was about" Matt says.

Helen reaches over and slaps him lightly on the arm, "I don't need Josh or anyone else to make me want you."

"But..." Matt says knowingly

"It may have been a factor" she concedes.

"Did you...?" Matt asks

"No, there wasn't time" Helen says, "But I'm pretty sure we both want to"

"Okay" Matt says, she can hear the smile in his voice.

“I wanted to talk to you about it, actually” she says.

“Oh?” Matt asks.

“Tell me about the things you say to him” she doesn’t add  _ to make him break _ because Matt is dancing close enough to the edge of a guilt-induced breakdown as it is. 

Matt shifts uncomfortably, “I already told you all that. Every word”

“No” Helen says, “I mean the logic behind it”

“It’s not a particularly logical process, Helen” Matt says, sounding more than a little exasperated.

Helen shakes her head, “No. From what you’ve told me, and from the plane, I can tell there’s a pattern”

There’s a long silence, but eventually Matt says, “It’s all stuff he’s afraid of.”

That… makes a lot of sense actually. Helen goes over what she’s been told. The main themes click into place seamlessly: contempt, subservience, helplessness and most of all, unworthiness.

“Imposter syndrome?” she asks.

Matt gets the reference immediately, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“That’s so…” she trails off, unable to think of the right word.

“Evil? Sick? Tragic?” Matt supplies dolefully.

“No” Helen says, “...delicious.”

“What?!” Matt asks incredulously.

“It’s like…” Helen pauses “It’s like a pun or a joke. Something deep and dark and scary being twisted around to mean something entirely different. It’s clever, and actually kind of beautiful”

“I’ve created a monster” Matt says. She’s not entirely sure if he’s joking.

  
“Believe it” Helen says, smiling wolfishly in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Saathi1013 for convincing me of Matt's hair kink. I had planned on this and Helen's first full scene with Josh being one chapter, but I thought you all would prefer smaller installments more frequently. Also, I'm alarmed at how haphazard my editing process has become.


	4. Amendment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fact: Helen Santos is an evil genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this contains crossdressing. I didn't intend for it to contain crossdressing, but Helen sort of insisted. I wasn't entirely sure how to tag it. There's shades of forced feminization, but that's not quite it. Unfortunately, there's no tag for "BDSM scene as performative art critiquing the misogynistic dynamics of the campaign trail." Alas.

Matt told her about this. Helen is good at figuring things out, but so far as she can tell there really isn’t a polite, professional way to say, ‘I want to fuck you. When’s a good time?’ at least not without attracting unwanted attention.

Finally, she just has one of her staff bring Josh a note. The poor girl she sends looks like she’s just heard her own death sentence when Helen tells her who the note is for.

She does her best to word it innocuously, “Great conversation Wednesday. Find me when you have an hour free and we’ll pick up where we left off”

Helen’s messenger comes back without a response, looking both confused and pathetically grateful.

Later, Helen finds a matchbook tucked into her prep notes for an event. Inside, there’s a date, five days from now and a time, 8:30 am. It’s in Josh’s handwriting. A message in a matchbook. The implication is obvious: burn after reading. It’s ridiculous, melodramatic, and unnecessary. Exactly the sort of thing Josh would think of. She does end up burning it, because unlike seemingly boring questions sent through normal channels, cryptic messages written in matchbooks  _ are _ the sort of thing that arouse suspicion.

Five days from now. 8:30 am. Six months ago, Helen might’ve laughed at the absurdity of having kinky, technically adulterous sex before noon. Now, there’s only the memory that she would’ve found it odd once. Time is different on the campaign trail.

Five days: not exactly instant gratification, but it gives her time to prepare. She sets to the task with gusto. It’s something to do. A human being can only watch so much cable news.

She wakes up early, the morning before. She calls her staff and tells them she isn’t feeling well, asks them to cancel her morning events. They agree readily enough. Helen knows that as far as they’re concerned, there’s no point in her being there if she doesn’t look good. The sad thing is that they’re probably right. In any case, they should leave her alone until noon. She goes over the checklist one last time while Matt is getting dressed.

“What on earth are you planning to do to him?” he asks while he’s tying his tie. It’s a different knot than he used to use. Josh said it increases favorability by 0.25%. One of his staff pointed out that a difference that small isn’t statistically significant. Things didn't end well for that particular staffer.

Helen smiles impishly, “You can make Josh tell you all about it, later”

Matt sighs, “Just remember I need him back when you’re done with him, okay?”

Helen laughs, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Once Matt is gone, Helen gets dressed and sets up. It’s only a few things and it’s all in place an hour early. She checks everything twice and then forces herself to sit down. She tries to read a book she’s been neglecting, but nothing sticks. She’ll have to read those parts again, later. It’s still better than staring at the wall or quadruple checking her supplies.

At 8:30 exactly Josh knocks almost timidly before letting himself into the room. He looks even more nervous than usual, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, moving towards her with tentative, shuffling steps. 

Helen smiles at him, “Hey. How are you?”

Josh’s expression sours.

“Stupid question, sorry” she says, “No one does this because they want to be happy, right?”

Josh’s warning to Matt in New Hampshire has become Helen’s mantra too.

“Yeah” he says. He sounds so tired. 

Helen takes him by the hand and leads him to the mirror in the corner of the room.

“Uh, so what do you want me to…?” Josh asks awkwardly.

“Before we do anything, you’re going to answer some questions. With words, while you’re still in your right mind” she says firmly.

Josh shrugs, “I thought we’d sort of… you know, wing it. I’m okay with whatever you want”

“You don’t know that!” Helen snaps. 

Impulsively, she advances on him and puts a hand on the base of his throat.

“I’ve wanted to choke you for awhile now” she says, low, “Are you ‘okay’ with that?”

Josh takes a frantic step back, “No, um, I’m sorry, I, uh, I need to breathe”

“The only thing you need to apologize for is not taking this seriously” Helen says.

  
“Yeah, okay” Josh says defensively, “You’ve made your point.”

“I hope so” Helen says, “Today, I want to dress you up and fuck your mouth. Is that okay?”

Josh raises his eyebrows, “Dress me up?”

“You’ll see” Helen says.

Josh takes a deep breath and nods, “Okay. I trust you”

Helen smiles, “I know you do sweetie. Is the stuff we’ve done before still okay?”

“You mean hitting me, calling me names and generally making me your bitch?” he asks.

She nods.

“Helen, you have no idea how okay I am with that” Josh says earnestly, “ _ Please _ do any and all of that stuff.”

"I'm going to make you cry" Helen warns.

"It won’t be hard" Josh says softly.

If Helen doesn’t have him right now, she might actually die, “Okay. What’s your safeword?”

“Dayton” he says. He’s really sticking to that theme.

“Good. Are you ready?” she asks, trying to sound stern rather than eager.

Josh takes a deep breath, “Yes.”

“Okay,” she says.

She takes a moment to prepare. She closes her eyes and remembers her fantasies; all the things she’s wanted to to do him. She gathers her desire, and her bitterness, from all the little places she keeps them when she’s not using them. She hardens her expression.  _ Ok, ready _ . 

Helen puts her hands on Josh’s shoulders and leans close to whisper,  "You're no good to me like this. We need to strip you down."

Instantly, Josh reaches for the buttons of his shirt. It’s clearly a reflexive action. Does Matt like that? She imagines her husband sitting lazily in a chair while Josh strips for him, blushing scarlet as Matt watches him intently. It’s a pretty picture, but not what she wants today.

She slaps his hands away, “No. You’re going to be my doll. You move when I move you, you stay where I put you and you do what I tell you. Do you understand?”

“Ye-” he starts.

“No” she repeats, “Dolls don’t talk. Do you understand?”

Josh blushes and nods.

"Keep your eyes open” she warns, “I want you to watch me do this to you."

Another nod.

Helen gets to work undressing him. So many layers.  She strips him slowly, methodically. He looks a little smaller with each item of clothing she removes. She pauses when she gets to his chest. His scars are exactly like Matt described. She traces one of the surgical incisions with a single fingertip. 

“Sensitive?” she asks.

Josh shakes his head. 

“Tell me” she orders.

“... mostly numb” Josh mumbles.

Helen smiles, “Well that’s no fun, is it?”

She undoes his belt and pulls it free. She doubles it up in her hands and smacks it smartly against her own palm.

Josh jumps at the sound.

"I could beat you with this" she says casually, "I could whip you until you hurt so much you can't move and leave you here for Matt to find. I know you'd let me. Would you like that?"

She looks into Josh's eyes. He looks  _ hopeful _ .

“He’d fuck you, of course” she whispers, “That’s what we keep you around for, after all. Face down, I think, so he could look at all my beautiful work.”

Josh moans loudly and bites back a word that looks suspiciously like ‘please’.

Helen’s heart flutters in her chest. She’d dredged that up from the darkest depths of her psyche to scare him, to make him beg for mercy. But he...  _ wants  _ it. It’s more than a little bit terrifying.

"We're not doing that today" she says flatly.

Helen takes Josh’s pants and underwear down with a single sharp yank. He’s hard for her. She has to kneel to get his socks and shoes, and to make him step out of his pants. She stands up. There’s a garment bag hanging from the side of the mirror. Helen unzips it and pulls out the dress she bought for him. It's exactly the same shade of gray as one of his suits. Josh looks more alarmed when he sees it than he did when she threatened to beat him bloody with his own belt.

"Tell me what you're thinking” she says, “Do you need me to stop?"

"No, I uh, I’m good” he says, “...but I  _ really _ need to know where you got that."

Helen laughs when she realizes what he means, "Don't worry, I bought it with my own money. You’d have a hard time explaining  _ that  _ to the FEC, wouldn't you?"

"More worried about the press" Josh admits.

Helen palms his cock lightly, "Now there's a thought.  _ that _ would be a scandal, wouldn't it? It would destroy everything. The campaign would be a joke for _ years _ , decades maybe. None of us would ever work in politics again. All because you are a dirty little pervert."

Josh lets out a long, wounded moan.

“I stopped by a mall in Charleston. I told my  _ staff _ -” she spits the word out like something vile, “-that I needed to buy a birthday present for my aunt. I paid cash. Luckily for you, no one recognizes me out of costume.”

"You're an evil genius" Josh whispers.

"Flattery won't make me go easy on you" she says, "Now hush."

She works Josh into the dress. Getting him into the right positions is effortless. He moves at the slightest nudge and stays in whatever pose she leaves him in.

She runs a hand through his hair and makes a disapproving noise, "Not much I can do with this."

She gets the makeup case from the dresser.

She grasps Josh by the chin, "Hold still"

She does her best to replicate her own on-screen look. Even she's surprised by how long it takes. She doesn't think she did a particularly good job. It doesn't really matter, Josh started crying towards the end and ruined most of her work anyway. If Helen did that, her handlers would wipe her down and make her start from the beginning. She won’t do that to him. Helen's not that cruel.

She sets down the makeup case and looks at Josh appraisingly.

"I'd ask you what you think” she says sharply, “But I don't actually care."

She grabs him by the back of his head and forces him to look directly into the mirror, "You look ridiculous. You're a parody of yourself. Do you understand?"

In the midst of a thick, wracking sob, Josh nods.

"Good" Helen says.

She leads him towards the bed and sits herself down at the foot of it.

"Get on your knees" she says.

Josh hits the ground immediately. Helen suppresses a sympathetic wince. That's must hurt.

Helen pushes her skirt up around her hips. Josh’s cock presses visibly against the front of his dress when he sees she's not wearing underwear.

"Matt says you're good with your mouth" Helen says, reaching forward to run a thumb over his bottom lip.

She slips two fingers inside. Josh sucks on them eagerly.

"But what would he know?" she smirks down at him, "All you have to do for him is open up and take it."

Josh moans around her fingers and the sound seems to vibrate up her arm.

Helen crooks her fingers inside his mouth and pulls him forward, "You'll have to do better than that to impress me"

She guides his head towards her pussy. He rests his hands on her thighs and gets to work.

“Oh!” Helen gasps.

She wraps her legs around Josh’s head and lets herself fall back onto the bed. Josh shifts slightly to get a better angle. Helen reaches out to grasp at the sheets.

He  _ is  _ good with his mouth. 

“...should’ve known” she murmurs, “should’ve known you’d have a  _ filthy  _ mouth. Fuck-”

Josh moans against her.

“Oh god-” she is almost breathless, “You love this don’t you?”

Josh nods and starts sucking hard on her clit. It’s… The violence of Helen’s orgasm surprises her. She grinds against Josh’s face and tightens her legs around his head as it shakes through her.

After, Helen just lays there panting for awhile. Josh is lapping at her gently. She doesn’t want him to stop. She wants to keep him here and make him do it all again, and again. She glances at the clock on the bedside table. Damnit. 

She unwinds her legs from Josh’s head. His lips are red and swollen, his makeup is hopelessly smeared and he looks up at her with dazed, unfocused eyes. Helen helps him stand up and pulls the dress off of him before laying him down on the bed. His cock is hard, red and leaking against his stomach. He's left a small spot of precum on the front of the dress, slightly discoloring the fabric. Hopefully no one will notice when she sends it to be dry cleaned. Maybe she'll make Josh take it, just to be sure.

Helen stretches out on her side next to him and takes his cock in her hand, “What do we have here?” she asks mockingly.

Josh’s cock twitches in her hand. 

“Oh, you poor, sick little thing” Helen croons, “You  _ need  _ this, don’t you?”

Josh nods. He’s weeping. Helen watches his face hungrily.

“Shh...” she soothes, stroking faster, “It’s okay. I already know what a  _ desperate _ little slut you are. You can show me. Let go ”

Josh cries out and thrusts upward into her hand. His entire body arches towards her as he comes. Afterward, he goes limp and stares at the ceiling blankly.

Helen smiles and strokes his hair a few times before getting off the bed to clean up. She doesn’t like the idea of leaving Josh alone right now, even for just a couple of minutes, but she likes the idea of getting cum and smeared makeup on her $1200, technically property of the Santos campaign, skirt and jacket combo even less. 

She goes to the bathroom and undresses, putting her clothes on the hangers she left for herself and hanging them on the bathroom door. Everything she needs is waiting for her, lined up neatly on the bathroom counter. She laid it out in advance. Two bottles; water and juice, makeup remover, and two fresh washcloths waiting to be soaked in warm water. 

It’s a little awkward getting everything back to the bed. She doesn’t seem to have enough hands. Next time, she’ll have to stash some of the stuff in the bedside table, or maybe under the bed. 

Next time. What if there isn’t a next time? Helen knows she probably came on too strong, that she should have started slower. She knows that she did it for bad reasons. Which is more wrong: wanting to outdo Matt or wanting to vent her resentment about the campaign?  _ Hard to say, Earl  _ she hears in the twanging voice of an Austin journalist she and Matt used to go out for drinks with. It’s a quote from one of the woman’s articles, a critique of some disgusting racist right-wing tract. Not a helpful line of thought. 

It doesn’t matter. Even if she and Josh never do this again, Helen’s job isn’t done yet. 

Josh is still lying face up on the bed. His stomach is splattered with cum. His eyes track her as she approaches, but he doesn’t move. Helen sits down beside him.

“It’s okay, sweetie” she says, “It’s over now.”

She wipes away the cum first. Then she pours some makeup remover on the other washcloth and wipes his face clean in long, gentle strokes.

When she’s done, she whispers, “You were so good for me, Josh”

Josh tilts his head to look up at her, leans into her touch when she puts a hand on his cheek.

Helen opens the bottle of juice and brings it to his lips, “Drink this for me, sweetie.”

In an ideal world, Helen would pull the covers over both of them, wrap her arms around Josh and not let him go for a very long time. They do not live in an ideal world.

Josh finishes the juice. When Helen proffers the water bottle, Josh sits up and drinks it himself. He seems a little more on the ball now.

Helen takes his free hand and holds it firmly. He squeezes her hand in return.

“Talk to me” she says.

“About what?” Josh asks, his voice is almost a croak at first.

She thinks for a second, “Tell me about that poll that came out Tuesday.”

Josh snorts, “You call that a poll? That wasn’t a poll, that was a venerable polling firm crying out for help. High school statistics students are laughing at them right now. They could’ve got better results picking out ten guys at random in a mall somewhere.”

“Didn’t you actually do that, once?” Helen points out. Matt has told her stories, and she hears plenty from the staff.

“I’ll have you know that it was a few dozen random guys, not just ten!” Josh protests, “Anyway, no one’s ever accused  _ me _ of being respectable”

Helen laughs. Josh laughs with her. He finishes his water and then gets up and starts picking his clothes off the floor. The first time she saw him go down for Matt, it felt like witnessing a miracle, but this is the greater mystery. Not only that Josh will let them take him apart like this, but the way he puts himself back together afterwards.

Josh dresses himself piecemeal. When he’s done, he looks the same as he always does: like an overcaffeinated, certifiable asshole in desperate need of a nap.  He circles back to stand at the end of the bed, in front of where she’s sitting. He leans down towards her.

“Can I?” he asks.

“Yes” Helen says.

They kiss. It’s a good kiss, soft and sweet.

“Thank you” Josh says, “For… you know, and for after”

“Oh sweetie” she says, and thinks,  _ you have nothing to thank me for. _

Josh checks his watch and looks alarmed.

“I’ve gotta go” he says, “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay” she says.

Josh goes. Helen is alone with her thoughts. It’s not a good thing. The moment Josh closed the door behind him, she started going over everything she said and did to him. Sated, without desire to cloud her judgement, it all seems so damning.  _ Oh god... _

  
Helen looks at the clock. There’s still a couple of hours left in her reprieve. She resolves not to spend them torturing herself over this. She’s not sure if it’s a resolution she can keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The full aftermath of this thing got so long I've decided to give it it's own chapter. I expect it'll about around 750 words, but I also expected this thing to clock in somewhere around 1500, so we'll see. After that we'll have their inaugural threesome (as in the first one, not the one they have on inauguration day). I have a pretty good idea of what sort of shenanigans I want them to get up to, but let me know in the comments if there's something you'd like me to include. Even if I can't use it here, I might be able to work it into a future fic.


	5. Passage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Matt tries to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> junes_discotheque said they like the way I handle top drop in this story. My friend, you are going to absolutely fucking love this chapter. This one's for you. Top drop angst ahoy!

The next time Helen sees Matt, they’re on camera. Her handlers fuss over her for an hour beforehand. She only narrowly resists the impulse to tell them that no amount of makeup can make a person look happy. No one asks her what’s wrong. Maybe they assume it’s whatever made her call in sick this morning. Maybe they don’t care, and why should they? It’s irrelevant to their work. 

They meet in the middle of a stage. Matt puts a hand on the small of her back and presses a chaste, respectable kiss to the side of her head. Helen wishes that she could kiss him back, reach out and cling to him, but she knows what is required of her. She will cast her eyes down demurely and smile. She will let Matt lead her to the podium. He’ll prompt the audience to clap for her. She’ll smile for the cameras and then make a poised, dignified exit.

They don’t even get to the podium before Matt fucks it up. As they’re walking, Matt leans in to whisper in her ear, tilting his head away from the cameras so they can’t read his lips.

“Josh was thirty minutes behind schedule today” he murmurs, “You know he has a campaign to run, right?”

He sounds amused. Helen isn’t. She flushes with shame. Matt makes an apologetic noise and then runs Helen through the rest of her steps. The crowd claps louder than usual. Helen feels sick to her stomach. 

The moment she steps off stage, she is mobbed. Everyone wants to know what Matt said to her. Helen wants to break down and cry. She doesn’t, she’s too good at this. She handles them with grace and style: smiling gamely, very politely refusing to answer any questions and moving slowly but insistently through the crowd.

Josh emerges from wherever he was lurking and starts berating the reporters. Helen’s already long past them but she appreciates the gesture.

She goes through the rest of the day’s events in a haze. Everyone wants to know about The Blush. It’s playing on an endless loop on all the cable news channels. People keep asking her what Matt said. Helen hates them for it. They don’t want an answer, wouldn’t know what to do if she gave them one, they’re just asking to try and fluster her. Humiliate her. It’s pointless, petty, invasive and thoughtlessly cruel, just like everything else in this hellish alternate dimension she’s fallen into.

When it's over, and Helen is back in her room, the first thing she does is take off her costume. She pulls the garments off vengefully and leaves them in a heap on the floor. Helen rubs at her face roughly. Make up smears onto her hands and arms. She goes to the bathroom and finishes the job with a washcloth and some makeup remover.

Helen looks at herself in the mirror. She's pale, her face is splotchy and irritated. Her eyes are distant and vacant. Her lips twitch into an ironic little smile. It's nice to look the way she feels for once. She hears someone come into the room.

"Helen?" Matt calls out.

"In here" she says softly.

Matt comes into the bathroom and wraps his arms around her from behind.

"Baby, I'm so sorry" he whispers.

Helen closes her eyes and leans back into him. They stay like that for a long time.

"Take a shower with me?" Matt asks gently.

Helen nods. She undresses him. So much more tenderly than she undressed herself. Matt turns on the water and they step into the shower together. Helen sighs with relief as the hot water hits her. She lets Matt wash her, lets herself melt into his hands.

Afterwards they turn off the lights and stagger into bed. Matt wraps his arms around her and holds her as if he'll never let her go.

"You were amazing” he murmurs into the crook of her neck, “Everyone's talking about it. You made them all look ridiculous."

Helen wonders what it would take for everyone _ not _ to talk about her, "They  _ are _ ridiculous"

"I know" Matt says, "I'm sorry."

"I didn't think it would be like this" Helen whispers wretchedly.

Matt knows what she means. They both know that Helen never expected any better from the campaign trail.

"It's really hard the first time" Matt says.

"Was it this bad for you?" Helen asks.

"Mm. Worse, maybe?" Matt considers, "I actually thought Josh was going to call the cops on me."

He pauses. Helen thinks,  _ Josh wouldn't, no matter what we did to him, he wouldn't. _

"It was hell" Matt continues, "But at least I didn't have to do it live on CNN"

"There is that" Helen says wryly.

"Maybe it's easier for me” Matt muses, “I see him all the time, see that he's okay"

"Yeah" she says, noncommittally. 

"He  _ is _ okay, Helen"

Helen remembers the look in Josh’s eyes, the way he broke down in front of her while she whispered poison in his ear, "How?!" 

She can feel Matt shrug, “I don’t know.”

That is very much  _ not _ what Helen needs to hear right now, “What?!”

“I don’t know” Matt repeats, “Josh is really… really weird. If it makes you feel any better, this thing, or whatever, is nowhere near the weirdest thing about him.”

“It really doesn’t” Helen says bitterly.

Matt chuckles, “Sorry. He really is okay, though. Maybe more okay than when we started”

“I want to believe you” Helen says miserably, “But…”

“You’re not ready to hear it right now” Matt finishes, he shifts them both into their normal sleeping position, “Go to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning. I promise”

That sounds like a fabulous idea. Helen snuggles in under his arm and closes her eyes.

"How did you get so smart?" she whispers.

"I had a good teacher" Matt says, she can hear the smile in his voice.

"You did, didn't you?" Helen mumbles, before dozing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one more chapter in this thing. A plot bunny emerged from this chapter: clips of Helen Santos being polite yet devastatingly withering to reporters becoming some of the first viral videos. Not sure if I should try to give it a little cameo in the next chapter, before the porn, or write it up long-form as a companion piece later on.


	6. Joint Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is an ass. Matt and Helen love him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to have one of the poor, Josh-fatigued staffers mutter "Join the Santos campaign they said, it'll be fun they said". Alas, that meme didn't come into usage in its modern form until SEPTEMBER of 2006. Five months too late. I never thought I'd have to do period research for porn set in 2006. Helen as early viral video will have its own companion piece in addition to the mention here.

It’s 6:30 am and all is not right in Josh Lyman’s universe. Super Tuesday was a wash at best and Florida and Illinois are bearing down on him like a fucking freight train. Florida is winner take all and Illinois, Illinois is… a clusterfuck that’s actually going to give him an aneurism one of these days. The delegate math keeps him up at night. There’s something really goddamn weird going on with Helen on the internet: clips of her talking to reporters cut with awful techno music and obnoxious neon colored cartoon graphics, are racking up ridiculous hit counts on some new video website. Aasif, their “New Media Outreach Director” (who Josh hired for the sole purpose of being able to send out a press release about how they have a “New Media Outreach Director”) won’t stop talking about it. Josh has no fucking idea how he’s supposed to turn it into votes. The Santoses haven’t seen any of it yet, thank god. That won’t last.

Josh knows that he could cope with these vicissitudes of life on the campaign trail, if only, if fucking only, the GODDAMN hotel coffee machine would work.  He presses the button _again._ Nothing. Fucking nothing. Josh raises his hand unto the heavens and brings it down with the full force of his vengeful rage. The machine breaks with a pathetic little crunch.

“SHIT!” he yells. A couple of his staff are whispering about him from across the room, little shits.

There’s a thin stream of coffee trickling out of the broken spout of the machine.

“Fuck it” Josh whispers, and holds out his cup to catch it.

It takes forever to fill up. The staffers are doing that thing people do, where they talk loud enough that you can hear that they’re talking, but not loud enough that you can catch any actual words. Once his cup is full, Josh whirls around and advances on them.

“Do you two have a place to be?! Something actually useful you’re supposed to be doing?! Cause if you don’t, I’ve got about 500 volunteers sleeping in cars and on couches tonight who could use your room! Clear?” Josh doesn’t actually scream at them. He thinks he should get some credit for this.

One of them actually turns and physically runs away. Good. Either he’s going to do his fucking job, or he’s getting the fuck out. Win-win. The other just stands there stock still and staring at him like he just murdered a puppy in front of her.

He points at the deceased coffee machine (it had it coming), “Settle this with the hotel, then go and order a coffee machine. A non-shitty one. Something portable. Got it?”

She nods dumbly.

“Go!” he says.

She’s gone before he can blink.

Josh sips his coffee. There’s a staff meeting soon, then the motorcade (they may be a B-list campaign, but at least they’re not hitching rides with dudes picking up their mom’s dry cleaning anymore) to an event at a VFW hall, and…

“Mr. Lyman?” It’s one of Helen’s new aides. The ones she actually likes. The ones he’s not allowed to yell at anymore.

“Yeah?” he asks.

The kid holds out a folded up sheet of paper, “From Mrs. Santos.”

He takes it, “Tell her I got it.”

The kid doesn’t go, “Sorry, but she said to get a response.”

He rolls his eyes and opens it. It says:

 

Josh,

Matt and I want to talk to you about some ideas for an ad campaign in Ohio. Come by the room around 10:30 tonight?

Helen

 

_What the fuck?_ Didn’t they decide to cut their loses in Ohio like a week ago? He reads it over a couple more times before he gets it. Ohio. _God, you’re really stupid sometimes,_ he thinks to himself.

“You got a pen?” he asks Helen’s messenger.

She does. Josh scrawls an emphatic YES at the bottom of the page, followed by his initials, and then folds the paper back up. He gives it back to the kid.

“Now scram” he says, which doesn’t count as yelling. The kid goes. Josh keeps the pen.

10:30 pm. Tonight. 15 hours and 45 minutes from now. He can do this.

The day’s events go off without a hitch. Josh is as distracted as ever, but at least he’s not thinking of delegate math anymore. The last hour is the hardest. Josh doesn’t want to be early, doesn’t want to seem too desperate. And yes, he _is_ aware of how ridiculous that is. He knocks on their door at 10:30 on the dot.

“Come on in” Matt calls out.

Josh enters the room tentatively. Matt and Helen are on the couch, just outside the field of view of someone standing at the door. He can tell they’ve been waiting for him. Helen is nude, reclining languidly. Matt is fully clothed, leaning forward intently. Neither has ever looked more powerful, and right now they’re both looking at _him_. Josh tugs at his tie. He feels lightheaded.

“Come here, sweetie” Helen says.

Josh obeys, crosses the room until he’s standing close enough to hear them breathe, to feel the warmth of their bodies. Impulsively, he lets himself fall to his knees at their feet. He bows his head and closes his eyes. God, it feels good to be down here like this.

Matt grabs a handful of Josh’s hair and tilts his head back, “Tell me your word, Josh.”

“Cleveland” Josh says.

“And who are we?” Matt asks.

As if he’s going to forget, “Matt. Helen. _Please_ ”

Matt lets him go, Josh rests his head on Matt’s knee and breathes deeply. Matt strokes his hair.

“Thank you” Josh whispers.

“Tell me what you need” Matt says.

Josh flushes. He hates it when Matt makes him ask for it. Sometimes he doesn’t even know what he wants. This isn’t one of those times.

He grits his teeth, “Hit me. Please”

There’s a pause before Matt says, “Yeah, okay. Get up”

Josh breathes a sigh of relief and stands up. Matt rises from the couch.

“Strip” he says.

Josh’s hands are moving before he can think. His shirt first, Matt likes him to take his shirt off first. He repeats it to himself in his head as he undresses. _Matt likes this. Matt likes this_. Josh doesn’t know why. He closes his eyes even though he knows he won’t be allowed to keep them that way. Matt slaps him, not quite hard enough to leave a mark. He’s gotten really good at that.

“Eyes on me” Matt growls.

Josh opens his eyes and watches Matt watching him as he exposes himself. He’s blushing so hard it feels like he’s burning. When he’s done, Matt presses a gentle kiss to the side of his head.

“Good boy” he says.

Josh bites back a moan.

“This is going to hurt. A lot” Matt says softly, “But you’re going to take it for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes” Josh gasps, “...please.”

“Shh” Matt says, “I need you to stay quiet until you’re ready for me to stop. Do you understand?”

Josh nods.

Matt puts a hand on Josh’s shoulder to steady him, which turns out to be a really good idea, because the first blow nearly knocks Josh over. Matt didn’t hit him all that hard, but the pain is blinding. A sharp, carefully placed jab to one of Josh’s ribs. He nearly screams, feels it growing in his chest, but he holds it back and all that escapes is a long, ragged gasp. Matt makes an approving noise and does it again, and again. Josh trembles. He can do this. He’s already crying, but he’s doing it silently. He can take it. Matt didn’t say anything about not closing his eyes for this, so Josh does. Bit by bit, his body explodes in pain. His ribs, his collar bones, the sides of his hips. Wherever Matt can find bone. Josh isn’t trembling anymore, he’s shaking. His breath is jagged and irregular. He feels like he’s choking on his own screams.

“Beg me to stop” Matt whispers.

Josh shakes his head violently. He can take this. He can.

Matt jabs him again, in the breastbone this time. Josh’s entire chest is on fire.

“Beg” Matt orders.

Josh can’t, won’t, give up. He shakes his head again. Matt pauses. He circles Josh a couple of times, then he starts taking every piece of loose flesh he can find and pinching so hard that Josh can hear the capillaries burst. It’s a completely different kind of agony. The pain is bigger than he is, and he just _can’t_.

“Please, no more” Josh whimpers, “No more. I’m sorry”

Matt stops immediately and takes Josh into his arms.

“Hey. You’re okay. You did exactly what I said” Matt says tenderly as Josh buries his face in his chest.

Helen comes up behind them and puts a hand on the back of Josh’s neck.

“You were beautiful” she whispers.

Josh shivers at the praise.

“Do you want us to fuck you?” Helen asks gently.

“Yes” Josh sobs, “Please”

Matt lets go of him. Helen takes him by the hand and leads him to the bed. She bends him over the side ever so carefully, as if she’s afraid he might break. As if Josh isn’t already broken. Helen runs a gentle hand along his back. The places Matt hit him are already starting to feel warm and heavy. He can feel his heartbeat in them. Josh wonders if Helen can feel it too. Matt is close. Josh can’t see him, but he can hear him breathing, feel him watching. The last bit of tension goes out of him with a long, soft sigh. They’ve got him.

Josh hears a packet of lube being torn open, a pause as Helen meticulously coats the fingers of her right hand, and then she’s sliding one… no, two fingers inside him. Her hands are so small, and so gentle. His body doesn’t resist her.

"Oh Honey” Helen whispers, “He’s so _easy._ ”

“Yeah” Matt breathes.

Helen adds a third finger.

"Do you think I could make him take my whole hand?” Helen asks.

Matt groans softly, “I don’t know, but I’d really like to see you try.”

Helen starts spreading out her fingers, opening him up. The stretch is exquisite. Josh moans, shamelessly.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, sweetie?” Helen asks, teasingly.

Josh doesn’t answer. It’s not a real question. They both know the answer. Helen hums happily and does something new with her fingers: not stretching him, but twisting, curving and pressing down on _something_. Josh cries out and reflexively thrusts against the sheets. Helen puts her free hand on his lower back to still him.

"Honey, have you never done this to him before?" she asks, she sounds surprised.

"No" Matt says softly, "But I'm definitely going to now."

Josh sobs and claws at the sheets.

Helen turns to look at her husband, “Get undressed.”

Matt does. Josh turns his head to watch. Helen and Matt both chuckle when they notice. Once Matt's stripped, Helen points him towards the bed and guides him into position with one handed gestures and little sounds of approval, fucking Josh lazily with her other hand all the while.

Once she has Matt where she wants him: sitting upright with his back against the headboard and his legs spread, she pulls her fingers out of Josh and hauls him up by the scruff of his neck. Josh whimpers. She pushes him forward and Matt reaches out to take him, they work together to settle Josh in Matt’s lap. Helen hands Matt a condom and another packet of lube, and whispers something in his ear about angles. Matt nods.

"You ready?" he asks Josh as he rolls on the condom and slicks himself up.

Josh nods vigorously. Matt chuckles and lines them up. Josh whines pitifully as Matt slides into him.

"Shh" Matt whispers, tugging Josh's head back to rest on his shoulder and laying a trail of gentle kisses on the side of Josh's neck.

Josh closes his eyes and lets his head loll to the side so Matt can kiss more of his neck. He's all the way inside now and Josh is so _full_.

"Good?" Matt asks.

Josh moans inarticulately.

"Thought so" Matt whispers smugly.

Matt tilts them both forward a little before he starts thrusting and when he does... It's... Josh cries out desperately. It's the feeling from Helen's fingers, only _more so_. Matt does it again. Josh's eyes fly open.

Helen is watching them wolfishly from the end of the bed.

Matt fucks Josh with long, slow grinding thrusts, continually pressing on whatever the fuck _that thing_ is. He is very pointedly not touching Josh's cock. Josh turns his head to sob into the crook of Matt's neck. He's going to come from this, he can feel it building inside him. Matt isn't going to touch him, he's going to fuck him just like this until Josh comes all over himself. Helen is going to watch. There's nothing Josh can do to stop them.

"... thank you" he murmurs, his voice is muffled and slurred, "... thank you, oh god, thank you"

Matt throws his head back and moans, his hips stuttering out of time. Helen presses a kiss to Josh's cheek and then wraps her hand around his dick.

It's too much, "Oh god, I can't... I think I'm going to..."

"No, you're not" Helen says. It's not a command, it's a statement of fact.

She squeezes him _very_ firmly, near the base and laughs at Josh's startled squawk. With one hand still clasped firmly around the base of his dick, Helen reaches over towards the bedside table and tears another condom off the strip. _She isn't... she can't be_.

“I told you that _we_ were going to fuck you” she says, smiling down at him.

Helen rolls the condom on and then mounts Josh in a single, smooth, effortless motion. She wraps her arms around Matt's neck, embracing them both. Then, moaning softly, she begins to move her hips. Josh is lost. Buffeted between them, he feels insignificant, like an interface, something Matt and Helen are using to fuck each other. He knows he can't last long.

Helen leans down to nip at his ear.

"This is what you're good for" she whispers harshly.

Josh comes screaming.

  
Later, when the post-coital haze begins to dissipate, the first coherent thought to form in Josh’s mind is _Holy shit, this thing might actually work._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for Reconciliation. 10,000 words! I've been doing all my first drafting on my phone lately. Has anyone noticed a drop in quality? The next arc is about the (long, long) process of getting Donna on board. I'm also planning to write short companion pieces to Reconciliation and Brokered at some point. Especially Brokered, we all need more Leo in our lives.


End file.
